I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Randomize
