dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
