I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
