ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize