if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
