Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
