My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
