let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Randomize
