I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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