Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Randomize
