I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
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