Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
