There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Randomize
