I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Randomize