if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Drunk is not a location!
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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