I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize