My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
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