it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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