This girl is more easily done than said...
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
