Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
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