I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
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