my mouth tastes like poor choices
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
