he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
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