Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
