I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
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