so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
