girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Randomize
