Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
