i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
