i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
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