I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
