I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
i just google imaged poop.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Randomize
