dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
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