just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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