is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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