i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
