Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize