I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
