You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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