i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Randomize
