Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Randomize
