I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
