I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Houston, we have a squirter
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
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