i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
