i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Randomize
