Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
