I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Randomize
