that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Randomize
