Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
