I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Randomize
