You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Randomize
