Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
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