i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
My balls are so social today.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize
