I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
The adults are the big ones right?
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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