so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
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