Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
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