What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Randomize
