walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
fuck your aforementioned shoe
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
